a ramble that turns into something worthy of reading

I am very very antsy right now. I am trying to study for my test tomorrow in the fun and exciting Integrated Marketing Communications but I can't because all I can think about is: I'M GETTING AN iPHONE IN 2 DAYS! I normally would be able to get it tomorrow, but they don't open until 10 and I am busy all day from 11am-930pm and I have things I need to do before work at 11 so I can't go the store at 10. ANYWAY, I think i'm also stirred up from watching the Oscars and having it be interrupted by a TORNADO WARNING even though it is about 30 minutes away from where I am...still really scary because there have been some SUPER SCARY winds howling tonight and some loud thunder. And my mind has always been the type to put myself in the position of the natural disaster and stress out FOR the people actually going through it.

Anyway, I can't wait to get an iPhone, but lately..like in the last 24 hours, i've had huge reminders that America is sooo rich and we are sooo beyond privileged and we take everything for granted. And also about how you can't serve money and God. Because i'm like spending all my money and freaking out that I have no money...and now i'm like what the heck, I have way more than I need...like this whole iPhone thing is just a want not a need. Basically, while being reminded of this, it just makes me want to give more of my money to people who need it. And I completely believe that all money is God's money and if you invest it in others, that he will bless you in return. Like today in church they showed a testimonial video of this guy from our church who told his financial story about how God provides for you if you are using your money how He wants you to.

Basically the guy's story was this:
He has 6 kids and works in construction. in 2008, the construction business went down the toilet so this led to this man not knowing how he was going to pay his bills the next month. Then he was at one of our church's meetings about how the church isn't receiving enough money from the members and how each church member would need to give $125 per family member to get rid of the church's debt. The man said that he did the math and that meant his family should give around $1,000. He said even though he didn't know how he was going to pay his bills the next month, he felt the Holy Spirit tell him he needed to give that amount. So he did. He said he prayed "God, I fully expect 100% return on that investment, not 30% but 100%." He said he expected to see the money come back to him in about 4 months. But it took 7 months until one day he was at home watching t.v. and his son came in with a red envelope and said, "Dad, what's this? It was stuck to our door." The man didn't know what it was or where it came from. He opened it up and it was 5 $100 gift cards to Walmart and Hyvee. Over the next few months they kept getting gift cards in the mail randomly. Also, he noted that during the 7 months of waiting, they never missed a bill payment of any kind.
SOOO COOL :) I LOVE stories like these!!!!!

I love how God pushes you to trust him. To step outside of your comfort zone and trust that he will provide for you. Whatever you need. a HUGE example of this in my life is my housing situation for next year. OH MAN. I told myself I would not stress over it...that I would give it to God and pray for His will to be done. I prayed and prayed that he would provide me with Christian roommates and that everything would work out with 504. After like 4 months of waiting...I am suddenly living in my dream "college house" with 3 awesome Christian girls who all want the same thing as me? God really provides. in whatever way you need him to.

And if he's not providing something for you, it is probably because you think it is what you want, but he knows what you NEED. His plan is ALWAYS better than our own. It's easy to get caught up in praying for what YOU want, but pray for what HE wants to be done with your life....I am currently dealing with this as I pray for my summer plans...I'll be sure to let you know how those turn out! :)

Katie

Careers suck.

Man I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself. I have never been confused or unsure of my career path until now. I have been working sooooo sooooo soooo hard on internship applications and perfecting my portfolio and resume but yet everything keeps failing. Big time.

1. I was supposed to shadow my favorite ad agency in Kansas City tomorrow, but turns out her email said last Thursday, not tomorrow, so I got the day wrong and screwed that opportunity. It's like I was so excited and so ahead of the game...then that happened and now not only did I miss out on an awesome experience, but I've made a horrible impression on the company I loved the most. If I never would have tried so hard to get their attention, I wouldn't have made this awful impression.

2. I worked really hard on my portfolio...to format it into a single file PDF, and I submitted it tonight to this agency called Barkley. Of course after I submitted it, I realized a border was missing from one of the ads so I fixed it and sent ANOTHER email to them so I've already made a horrible impression before they even open the PDF. Oh it gets better. When they do finally open it, they'll see one of my description writings cuts off about the last 8 words. Hopefully they won't read until the end?

I am soooo frustrated! I worked so hard on like an ESSAY for this application and a freaking border and format of a paragraph are going to screw me. I wanted all my applications to be perfect because they are so competitive, but my best doesn't seem to be enough.

Then I'm like, okay, I don't read any advertising magazines...I don't read articles about the industry...I just don't seem to care about the industry very much. I like writing ads and coming up with concepts, but honestly, the Hallmark internship where I would get to write honest, meaningful, writing could potentially be more my style.

I guess lately, I've had the realization that I don't necessarily have to be a copywriter if I find out it's not right for me. I should take my own advice from my Destiny blog post and recognize that I am not set for any destiny. Even though I've wanted to be a copywriter since I was in 5th grade (weird, I know) that doesn't mean I am "destined" to be one. AND even if I don't get a paid internship this summer, I still have my unpaid Thumper internship here in Columbia and could sublease at the Palace for the summer. I do have other options, but I just feel like I've put so much time into applying for internships that I want one soo bad. Seriously, it takes so much effort because I feel drained and I've only applied to 4!!!!!!!! FOUR! THAT'S IT! :(
If I don't get one, it's not the end of the world. Plenty of people don't have an internship the summer of their junior year and STILL GET JOBS! and what am I even saying, I already DO have a copywriting internship!

Man I'm just really stressed and disappointed and discouraged right now. I get to go to Kansas City tomorrow for the Ben Rector concert and eat Thai food!! all in one day! eeek! and the next day, I have a meeting at Bernstein-Rein, an agency in Kansas City to tour the agency and hopefully impress them with my new and improved portfolio! (I met the lady I'm meeting with at the career fair.)

Okay if you're still reading this, you're a true friend.
Katie

i'm going on a writing spree. the more you write the better you get. and i'm talkin pen to paper. i'm craving that pen to paper. i'm going to force myself to write until i can't write any longer. about anything and everything. goodbye facebook. hello journal. i will probably still update my blog because what do i do on here? write.

get the picture? awesome. see ya.