12 Things I Wish I'd Known About Love When I Was 21...

HI FRIENDS! :) So my sister gave me this article that she LOVES and now I love it too!!! when you read it, you're like "YES! YES THAT'S ME! OH MY GOD I DO THAT TOO!" So instead of photo copying it and snail mailing it out to all my bffs, I am going to retype the whole thing for you on here! really, you won't regret reading these!! :) Love you!

Article from Glamour Mag, by: Erin Meanly

NUMBER 1: Never underestimate the importance of being "interesting".
Men want someone interesting. They really do. So find some hobbies. In my mid-twenties, I made a guy my hobby. When he dumped me, partly because he felt smothered, I had to get a life. I hired a personal trainer, volunteered with kids, took Italian lessons and flew to Rome for vacay. It takes effort to get interested in yourself again. Make that effort. You'll start to remember how good it feels. And you'll impress. Now when I'm on a date and I read the menu in an Italian accent, or I smile while I talk about my ballet class, guys really eat it up.

NUMBER 2: There's a fine line between teasing a guy and criticizing him.
I used to fall into this bad habit of extreme flirting by teasing. One time I told an older guy who'd had a skiing accident that he was "damaged goods," and I would need to trade him in for a "younger model." He looked at me like I'd just kicked his puppy. I felt so bad that later, when he showed up wearing a totally heinous puka shell necklace, I refrained from any comment. Now that guy is long gone, but I am decidedly nicer to his successors.

NUMBER 3: Your wants and needs are just as important as his.
And if you don't express them because you think doing so will scare him away, then you're saying you don't count as much as he does.

NUMBER 4: Knowing how to cook: helpful.
I see now that it would have won me a lot of points. When I was 21, I said to my sorority sister, "I bought a box of Rice-a-Roni. How do I boil water?" She told me, "Make it bubble." And for years, that was all I knew how to do. If I'd had any idea then how much guys savor a woman who cooks--even if they're great cooks themselves--I would've asked for further instructions. Admittedly it sounds a little June Cleaver, but really nothing has changed about the male appetite, except it's gotten bigger.

NUMBER 5: Sometimes guys flirt with you because it makes them feel good about THEMSELVES.
(Hey, we do it too.) This is also the aha explanation for why he asked for your number and didn't call. The schmuck.

NUMBER 6: You will probably never fully understand men. So just try to understand yourself.

NUMBER 7: It's shocking how much men will talk about marriage.
But until there's a ring on your finger, it will generally be better for you if you pretend you're deaf. I've listened to hypothetical wedding plans from several men I've become involved with--sometimes on the first date! Yet, shockingly, I've never been married. Why do guys tease so? Simple: Even honest men like to tell you what they think you want to hear. But the more marriage talk there is and the more you imagine your future walk down the aisle with him, the harder it is to have good, clear perspective on the PRESENT state of your relationship--and to break up if he's not right for you. So don't indulge; it's not worth it.

NUMBER 8: Don't be cynical.
I try not to roll my eyes at PDA, and I never attend Anti-Valentine's Day parties. Bitterness is unattractive.

NUMBER 9: Things change once you're naked.
This one truly would have changed my life if I'd known it back when I started having sex: Sleeping with him doesn't give you power. It's NOT sleeping with him that does. Power to decide how quickly things happen; power to make him want you desperately; power to keep your clothes on if you so choose. And feeling powerful makes you SEXY.

NUMBER 10: Being worshipped isn't all that.
You'll go nuts if he's absolutely devoted to you. So let him have a boys' night or throw himself into his work. A happy man will still be able to balance "crazy busy" and crazy about you. One of my favorite grown-up quotes? From Simone de Beauvoir's "The Second Sex": "The knight departing for new adventures offends his lady, yet she has nothing but contempt for him if he remains at her feet."

NUMBER 11: We see what we want to see (and ignore the bad signs).
A guy will say, "Next time you play a gig, invite me!" And you think, Isn't that sweet? He likes me and supports my art and will probably marry me! But I have news: He would say the same thing to your GRANDMA if she were in a band. It's even possible to convince yourself that a guy who is acting distant or shady is doing so because he's overwhelmed by his love for you. But he isn't; he's acting distant and shady because he IS distant and shady! Wish I'd known that.

NUMBER 12: Don't compare yourself with your friends.
Some of them will settle down before you. Mine have been getting married steadily for the last decade. At some point I started to feel different, and that was a new and uncomfortable feeling for me. Rather than get anxious about it, I've tried to remind myself that it's not a race. Even when you've always been first in grades and jobs, you could be last in marrying. It's hard, but it doesn't mean anything about who you are as a person! Just that you're smart enough to wait for Mr. Eventually.