Typing vs. Pen to Paper

why pen to paper is better for your creative writing. (in my humble opinion).

you can't edit them as you go. all your thoughts are forced to be exposed on the page for you to reflect upon and analyze. That is the best though because seeing every ounce of what you're feeling in front of you directs you to the best conclusion.

no distractions. all your attention is focused directly on the page in front of you. the white blank page staring at you almost begs you to write on it. you want to fill it up. you are not distracted by "oh what's this new feature?" or an advertisement or even tempted to check facebook or twitter. (the horror!)

the sound. the sound of typing is so yuck. it's so 21st century technology. it is a sound that fills our loooong daaaaaays with school work, business work etc. pen to paper just flows. its silence allows you to hear your thoughts clearly.

it is out of your comfort zone. we spend so much time on the computer that to be creative on it is just bleeech. not possible. the internet is like an entirely separate world from the real world. when we take ourselves away from the internet, we are that much more forced to be focused on the real. the now. the uncomfortable.

thoughts on: Glory and Freedom

The concept of glorifying God has been on my heart this past week. I think it was last week when it really hit me what glorifying God is. It's one of those phrases that is tossed around "Glory be to God"....but WHY. Why should we glorify Him? Doesn't that seem a bit selfish that God made us for Him? That we shouldn't glorify anything BUT Him? I think this is where the flawed view of God comes into play if we are thinking this way. Because as I learned last week:

"When God gets his glory. We get our joy."

It was like boom! "oooh God is good and love and all of those things so by glorifying Him, in return, we are made happy!" It is not selfish of Him at all if WE are the ones reaping the benefits of glorifying him. I think there is the misconception that God is some like evil tax keeper and when we glorify him we are giving him all our money and he just keeps it all in a bank and leaves us miserable. In reality though, when we praise God and honor him with our hearts and actions, He blesses us like 100x more than we could imagine. (proven many times in my own life). Bottom line: it is easy to forget that God is literally the image of everything that is good in the universe. He IS love. so only good can come out of glorifying something of that nature.

The other misconception that I struggle with as I'm sure many others do is imagining God to be this rule keeper. That he RESTRICTS us. That he PREVENTS us from living fun-filled, wild, adventurous, risky lives. God completely spoke to me in my moment of thinking this. "He gives us the FREEDOM to live fun-filled, wild, adventurous, and risky lives!" Because of Him, we have the roadmap for how to live this life to the fullest. (He knows because He created it.) Our lives can be filled with those crazy traits, but with God, they will have purpose behind them. Taking big risks and trusting God will provide. Traveling the world and seeing His creation. Fun-filled adventures with genuine friends. I guess what i'm getting at is things don't have to be sinful to be fun.

"I run in the path of your commands for you have set my heart free." -Psalm 119:32

"Jesus said, "If you hold to my teaching you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free." -John 8:32

"You my brothers were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature, rather, serve one another in love." -Galatians 5:13

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." -Galatians 5:22-23


xoxo Katie

Today Is A Very Scary Day

Today is a very scary day.
Even the black cats are not out to play.
The wind blows the rain in my face.
So I am forced to walk at a very fast pace.

Today I was going to bike.
But then I was forced to hike.
Hike to class 15 minutes away.
Today is a very scary day.

Umbrellas flipping inside-out.
Embarrassing their owners without a doubt.
Fingers without mittens go numb as ice.
When you are unprepared, you pay the price.

All I want is my warm, cuddly room.
The cold and rain can only bring doom.
No sun in sight, not a single ray.
Today was a very scary day.



thank you.

The Lows.

I went to Christian Chapel this morning after a few weeks doing The Crossing. It was soooo amazing. I want to share a little about the message and what I was thinking about. The new series starting today is called "Miracles". This sermon was about how God prepares you for miracles to happen. So why God brings lows into our lives. These numbered points are directly from the sermon.

When God brings you low...

1. The lesson is not about you.

Pastor John brought up the book of Job in the bible. How he had everything taken away from him and he still glorified God. This book is not about Job, but is about God getting glory. That is what everything is about. It is never about us.

This point opened my eyes to the fact that through the low times God brings you closest to him, so even the low times are good. I've always known the low times bring a person closest to God, I am just now realizing that that is what makes them good. Pastor John said when we're down, we should stay down if that's what it takes for us to be close to God and learning about him. When everything is perfect in life, when we are full of hope and joy and thriving relationships, THAT'S when we reject and forget about God. We think we have solved everything on our own, that we are deserving of all the amazing things in our life...that we don't need him anymore.


2. To test your heart.

This point rang clear as a bell. God puts so many low points in our lives to test the state of our heart. Where does it lie... Where does it find it's hope, worth, security.... It made me think of a couple weekends ago when my car was dented by a stranger and how that was a true test of my heart. It opened my eyes to my insane materialism. Sometimes God has to give us lows to open our eyes to the condition of our hearts because we alone cannot see them! Another low that God gives me is lonely nights. Sometimes all of my friends are busy and I am so annoyed that I have no plans. I fel lonely and start over thinking things. In those times, God is testing my heart. He is showing me that I find my worth in my friendships and not Him. It all ties together with another post I wrote about God giving you those lonely nights so that you do have a chance to open your bible, listen to worship music and be brought closer to Him. In our eyes, these things are lows, but it is really God seeking after us.

3. To show you the person you can become.
We should see ourselves as God sees us. His daughters and sons. Lovable. Perfect in his eyes. When we are experiencing a low, we yearn for a change. This gives us the opportunity to evaluate what kind of people we want to be and the bible provides us the perfect example to follow: Jesus.

4. To do a miracle.

Other awesome notes from the message...

--Our sin affects other people. (gossip, greed, pride, insecurities, complaining,) are a few that popped into my mind for me personally. While my sin affects other people, I also can't let others' sin affect me and drag me down. I have to be aware of this two way street and it's definitely something I have not been so aware of.


---If we do not have Gods peace, we begin to fear God in an unhealthy way. We have a flawed view of who he is. We need to figure out what our idol is, what are we finding our hope and worth in, instead of God that is leaving us disappointed and, therefore, fearful.

I just thought this was a great message and had to share it! Thoughts??
xoxo Katie

my weekend.

This past weekend my car was backed into and dented on its driver side. It was parked on the street and I'm about 99% sure I know who did it, but the person is convinced he didn't do it sooo it won't be fixed.



At first when I saw the dent, I was so mad. I had to play detective for the next 24 hours trying to figure out who did it and if it would be fixed. The thing that pissed me off the most though, wasn't the physical dent in the car, but the fact that someone didn't have to take responsibility for it and that they were getting away with it. There was no justice.

Through this experience though, it has forced me to look at what I find value in and what I take for granted. I took my car for granted and only realized how great it is after it was dented. More importantly though, I found that I do find my value in materialistic things. I have known this for a long time (or why would I find the need to buy new cute clothes every few months). I think a ton of people find their value mistakenly in materialistic things. My car getting dented though, was an actual TEST of that value. I just kept repeating to myself "it is only a car. it is only a car. it still works. be thankful it wasn't damaged worse." I mean, it is just a piece of metal that moves me from one place to another. It is a tool. It says nothing about who I am, and it certainly won't last forever. It was overall a good wakeup call to show me that materialistic things are of little importance and I should try my hardest everyday not to be defined by these things.

So my car was dented on Friday night. The next morning, I coached my 1-3 grade girls soccer team. They had a game at 9am. I have been meaning to blog about them, but this weekend I particularly learned from them. So after I was so frustrated about my car...I went to coach the game and there standing, excited, ready to play were a bunch of little girls with smiling faces excited to see me. Coaching upward is such an escape from my problems--it's such a blessing! I get to leave the college campus, problems, homework, drama for 2 hours each week to hang out with little girls who find so much joy in an acorn, or the playground slide... (below: Grace, Molly, and Eliana).



That same day I babysat two little girls (2nd grade Emily and 7th grade Rebecca) for 5 hours. I coached the 7th grader last year. Again, it was just so refreshing to hang out with kids who just like to have fun and are happy all the time! I've found that hanging out with kids has really changed and grown my perspective on what joy is. I feel like they rejuvenate my cranky old soul and unknowingly remind me of the important things in life.

Here are a few hairstyles Emily (2nd grade) did on my hair:)




xoxo Katie

Millionaire Matchmaker and God

I was thinking the other day. About this weird metaphor that strangely makes sense. All humans are like the weirdo millionaires that go on Millionaire Matchmaker. Let me explain...

Everytime I watch that show, I am frustrated by the Millionaires. They have some sort of dating issue or personality problem that prevents them from finding their soul mate. Patty (the matchmaker) steps in and tells them their problem and how to fix it (it usually has to do with NOT picking girls that are half their age to date) and what do the millionaires do? THEY COMPLETELY IGNORE IT! I am like wow! you must not REALLY want to find your soul mate if you don't take the advice that is handed to you by the expert!! Then they go on a date with a girl half their age and of course, it fails. Because the definition of insanity is doing something over and over again but expecting different results. Of course it is going to fail with the woman you picked in Patty's millionaire club--because she's just like the girls you pick OUTSIDE of Patty's millionaire club! ....(that's what i am screaming at the tv.)

Anyway, it had me thinking and all of a sudden I was like wait a minute....I am EXACTLY like those Millionaires. Except instead of ignoring Patty's expert advice, I ignore God's expert advice. All humans do! time and time again, it is our number one flaw to ignore God and think we can do this life on our own. We think we know everything. We think we can fix/figure out every problem. And time and time again, we disappoint ourselves. We are left with the same mess we were the last time we tried to do things on our own. Confused, lonely, empty. Just as I yell at the TV every time the Millionaire's ignore Patty's advice, I yell at myself everytime I ignore God's wisdom and act as the sinful human I am. I am ignoring the expert on life, the CREATOR of this life, when He knows the exact perfect way to live it to it's greatest fulfillment!

And just as the Millionaire's that actually listen to Patty's advice always end up with their perfect match, everytime I feel I am living for God, I am truly fulfilled. I know I cannot change my sinful human nature, but I CAN spend more time with God and pray that his wisdom starts to overtake my sinful actions. I cannot sit and do nothing and just hope that I change. That would be like those Millionaires completely ignoring their dating life all together--they're certainly not going to find someone that way! A person has to be active in overshadowing their sinful nature by spending time with God and learning from him.

I need to do this more often.

Katie

When God gets you alone...

If there's one thing I've learned about God in college, it's that if He wants to get you alone, He will. This happened a lot freshman year when I was struggling with transitioning to school and I had barely any friends yet and many lonely/boring nights. I remember I would be so bored that I would take out my bible and have a quiet time. And always feel so good and refreshed afterward. Well that hasn't happened in a long time (ever since I made friends), but it happened tonight. Literally, every friend that is moved back/living in Columbia right now was either busy or out of town tonight. I haven't done anything all day but drown myself in tv and internet. The usual.

Well tonight it started with my shower. When I got out of the shower I turned off my tv and turned on some great new relaxing music i downloaded today. Then I started jotting notes on my computer. Then I grabbed my bible and whatdayaknow I learned something! I read about the book of Romans which led me to read a profile about Paul. I have always heard about Paul and wish I'd known more because I know he is a key player in the bible, but it didn't really occur to me to look him up in my study bible. I definitely forget how amazing my study bible is until I read it. It is SOOOO educational I love it! But it summarizes key themes and lessons and has short profiles and summmaries of people and each book. As well as timeslines and maps.

I forget how much I can learn on my own. I think that is something I am looking forward to in this house for next year. Being encouraged by my roommates to have quiet time more often and grow together. I always depend on going to bible studies or church, but I am realizing tonight, my study bible isn't a scary bible. It is just plain helpful! I'm seeing lots of spiritual growth in my future:)

-Katie

Midnight In Paris lessons:)

Midnight in Paris is an amazing movie!! Everyone should see it. I saw it with my momma when she visited me in KC. It was soooo inspiring and i'm still thinking about it a week later so i had to write about it. I wrote this message actually to my friend Bre because we both loved it so much.

So here is what i learned/what i generally loved about it/how it inspired me:)

1. ive been thinking about real world after graduating and all the plans and places i could go! mostly for fun with little stress. but the biggest lesson from the movie was that you should go and do where you feel is right for you and like just "GO DO WHAT YOU WANT! WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!" sort of thing:)
2. i was overall super inspired by his independence to just decide to stay in Paris.
3. I was overall inspired by how devoted of a writer he is and just watching it made me want to write more and find things/places that inspire me to write more.
4. that whole speech by hemmingway about not thinking about death when you're with the person you love lol that whole thing was sooo intruiging to me! Like all of your fears should subside when you're with the person you love:)
5. You don't need people in your life that hold you back or criticize you just because they've been in your life forever and it's comfortable for them to stay in it like his fiancee was. Overall theme from that being like don't live the life that is expected of you or what pleases others.
6. Then there's the whole wishing he lived in a different generation. This lesson shouted at me like the "DO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!" lesson:). It all of sudden became crystal clear that saying living in another generation is COMPLETE fantasy. Like yes, i say the 50's are innocent and love tons of things about it but either way, they had no internet or air conditioning or microwave or advanced medicine. And just seeing it played out how he met someone from the 20's and she didn't like the 20's and wanted to live even earlier was just SO FREAKING INTERESTING!!!! because i am totally like that whether it be wishing i'd live in the past or living too much in the future.
7. also i learned that living in the present IS interesting to someone. Like that is why it is so fun to read my journals from elementary school and middle school and high school etc, because it is so interesting to see how i thought "back in the day". While daily situations seem boring, it will be interesting to me in the future so i should journal more about daily happenings. It gave me an outside perspective that life is in fact interesting everyday...it just may take us a few years down the road to realize that.

Katie

Live Each Day As If It's Your Last

"live each day as if it's your last" does not have to be some big act. it is not about going skydiving or traveling the world or telling your secret crush that you love them. I have learned this is talking about the little things. eating that last piece of cake, going for a swim and getting your hair wet even if it means an extra shower, choosing people before money or time or anything materialistic. There are so many people that would take a plane ride to go to someone's funeral, but make all the excuses in the world about why they don't have the time or money to visit the person while they're still alive. I'm not talking elderly people, I'm talking family members, long distance friends...you really never know when the last time you'll get to see them is and I know I'd rather have the people I love visit me for a vacation and none of them come to my funeral rather than vice versa.
The whole idea of this comes from an article my dad sent me a few years ago about this famous author who wrote a list of all the things she wished she had done during her life. She wrote it while she was on her deathbed. I only remember these 3 things, but reading the article was extremely powerful and obviously the lesson has stuck with me.
She wrote:
1. i wish i would have said yes to dessert
2. i wish i would have not cared about messing up my hair when i rode in a convertible
3. i wish i wouldn't have told my kids to go watch tv as much

Dad, if you have the article will you send it to me again? or I'm sure you remember this woman's name and I can google it.

Anywho, thought it was interesting how the line "live each day like it's your last" has become cliche and almost meaningless, but when you really evaluate the little things in life...it can mean so much more!!

Katie

Untitled

As I lay in my bed, arms and legs outstretched, I smell the sweet scent of an innocent summer. The crickets chirping in the yard. The cool breeze coming through the open windows and sweeping across my over heated body. I wore a thin cotton tank top with matching thin cotton shorts. My curly hair had its way with my pillow as I laid there not knowing that this was childhood. This was everything I would ever wish for the rest of my years. This was the moment of perfect peace and security that I long to carry with me everyday. Sometimes I get a wind of that sweet summer scent. Pulling me back to my innocence. And it's every bit as perfect as it was then.

The Beauty of Being Human

In the comfort of your arms I go
To let my soul and feeling flow
Reach inside and bring to light
Everything I've been trying to fight
The fire that has built for years
By the everlasting fuel of my fears
Turns to ashes
As my body crashes
And is released by a river of tears

Big City

Big city gloom
Looming over the concrete
In matching grays
Robotic, routine, the people come
Each window hasn't seen the sun
Trapped in fog, covered by clouds
People wade slowly through the crowds
Sluggish ways give fuel to suffocating days
Darkness falls with each brick laid.

randomness

**Twitter and Facebook are proof that more people need to own journals.

**I would LOVE to study song writing. I just thought of this because I am obsessed with song lyrics and being able to write LIKE them, well I want to learn how to write them. That would be so cool to take a song writing class....if i went to some hipster music school....dangit. But it's maybe a writing goal I will work toward. Like really listening to lyrics and trying to figure out the art of it. Also, there are 2 CDs i just uploaded that i got from a friend and they have the lyrics printed in the inside of the CD. I used to love reading those, but I just never buy CDs anymore!! When it's all written out, song writing is just poetry really.

I'll work on that!

**Bless others with your riches. If you think you are not rich, you need to realize what country you live in.

**I wrote this morning at work in my beaaaautiful new journal from Urban Outfitters. I am going to dedicate it as like my daily warm up journal. Maybe even at school this year, if i keep going on this morning person schedule, I can warm up my mind every morning and write every single morning. Wouldn't THAT be a feat.

goodnight! xoxo Katie

Warmin up the writer's mind

So I was reading this blog that one of the copywriters showed me the other day. It was basically a couple of rules and tips to copywriters. About how you should write 100 headlines for every 1 that you need to use. Really interesting. They said one of the rules of copywriting is that "Work ethic triumphs talent." I was so pumped to read that because while it's super hard work to keep going and going and going (writing up to 100 headlines) which i've never done before by the way, I was excited that like anyone can do that, and that if you're able to do that, you'll eventually land on something good! Just gotta have the motivation.

So anyway, someone had commented on this blog that I was reading that they "warm up" everyday when they get to their office. They said they write about the morning, or their kids, or traffic or coffee....a page long to warm up their writing mind for the day. I thought I would try this today and have been meaning to write lately because I haven't written for pleasure in awhile. Actually, now that I think about it, yesterday I wrote a letter to my friend who is doing summer staff. That was like 3.5 pages long and I always write letters as I would speak so that was a great warm up.
Here's my warm up for today:

Didn't think I could do it
Didn't think I could pull through it
But I knew I had to prove it
That's all I knew

Threw me in, chewed me up
All the while holding onto your great love
Doubting, drowning, defeated
You provided as no other could
I held my breath, closed my eyes
and fell backward into your arms.

Like a child running from her parent
Their arm outstretched reaching to rescue
My heart was softened
I was gazing into a mirror of my beauty
You did all that to show me
I am worthy.

xoxo Katie

Internship!

Funny how I posted that ad work I had done in school this semester so no particular reason and now i haven't written in forever and i feel like my LIFE is advertising now. In a great way. I'm learning that I love writing for ads because not only is it fun topics, but it IS a topic! half the time i don't write on here or have no motivation to write is because 1. i don't have anything to write about or 2. maybe it's some heavy stuff that i don't feel like getting into as i write about it.

I've learned that copywriting is a roller coaster. sometimes you'll feel like crap about yourself (when you can't think of any good ideas) and other times you'll feel like superman, on top of the world when you think of the perfect line and you know it just fits.

Besides being worried about if i could write for a career (if it would still be enjoyable which i explained above), I was also worried about how rewarding the industry would be. Like advertising is kind of a selfish career where you're really only heping businesses. You're not really helping anyone like doctors or teachers do. Well, it's STILL rewarding i'm finding out. It is rewarding in the way that an artist or a novel writer gets recognition for their work. It's such a rewarding feeling knowing that people like your idea from YOUR brain and it's going to be out in the world for other people to like too! (most ppl don't like ads, i get that. but there are ads that everyone can admit to thinking to themselves "wow that's really clever' or just wow thats a good ad.

I'm learning what is good and what is bad writing. I know if it is good, if it clicks. i'm learning that "superman" feeling i get when it does click so it's kind of like i just gotta keep writing until i get that feeling. if the feeling never comes, then i go to my mentors.

Our (me and Caitlin, the art director intern) have two kick ass mentors named Tyler and Brent. Tyler is art, Brent is writer. They make work so much fun and so laid back while also teaching me more than my brain can handle at times. So far Caitlin and I have gotten to work on McDonald's print ads and Commerce commercials. I also did a side project for McDonald's for Brent and today we got assigned 5 more print ads for mcdonalds to work on by july 25th. The main thing Caitlin and I are waiting to work on is our new business pitch which is our intern project.

As far a living in Kansas City goes...it's been pretty good so far and it's still up in the air if I would live here after graduation. I feel like I need more friends in town to really experience the whole city. I have had really fun and relaxing weekends since i've been here because some friends visited me from Mizzou and then I have Abby in town to hang out with too! Also my friend Andie has taken me to her church the past 2 weeks so that has helped me a lot. I just made awesome plans to go visit my friend Kaitlyn with my mizzou friend Kelsie over 4th of july in Oklahoma where she lives and spend the 4th at her cabin. FUN! i'm so looking forward to that. Then my sister and Mom will visit. and i'm thinking about hanging out with the interns this weekend maybe downtown bar life KC? haven't experienced it yet, who knows.

xoxo Katie

I'm growing up a lot too here and have even turned into a morning person. I'll explain all that later.

Thoughts.

Random thoughts since I've been home:

-I am disappointed in my grades this semester, but rationalize that they're a little lower because I spent so much time working my butt off applying for (and getting!) an internship of a lifetime.

-My friends can make everything look really easy. I find that I have lower self esteem at home than at school. (probably because I forget who I am NOW and revert back to my middle school/high school thinking.)

-I think about God a lot less at home than I do at school.

-I think the two thoughts above are positively correlated.

-I have some friends who I don't ask what's REALLY going on with them enough.

-I need to get on a regular, normal sleep schedule.

-I want to eat healthier, but am not exactly sure how. I don't inherently know what food is good and bad like apparently the rest of the world does.

-Sometimes I'm jealous of how easy people's lives seem, but then I realize they've taken barely any risks in their lives and with risks come struggle.

-I am really inspired by the blog of one of my future roommates, Molly Akin. Can't wait to be inspired by her thirst for God everyday next year.

-I need lots of prayers about my physical and mental health during my internship.

-I have the best mommy ever for redecorating my room and surprising me.

-I worry about the future way too much and so easily forget all the ways God has provided for me and will continue to do so...

Goodnight.
Katie

new fav song

I am obsessed with this song. the funny thing is, is i have no idea how it got on my itunes. never heard of the artist or the album...i thought it might be from a soundtrack but the album is listed anddd it's not. been listening to it all day. it's an amazing relaxer song:) enjoy!

poems from the desk...

time will pass
my heart will bloom
no longer will this darkness loom

i'll take my past
and bury it deep
no longer will this darkness seep

beneath my doubt
my confidence lays
no longer will this darkness prey

compare no more
to those who have it all
no longer will this darkness fall

Weekend in KC!

Last weekend I spent in Kansas City because I had my internship interivew Friday morning and decided to spend the rest of the weekend with my friend Abby. (featured in the post below).

My weekend in Kansas City was so awesome and I felt really really blessed the whole weekend because of the following:

1. My internship interview at Bernstein-Rein went amazingly well and I barely had any anxiety going into it.
2. Saturday night, Abby and I played this game called marbles with her parents and parents' friends. It was soo fun to have a family game night.
3. Before game night on Saturday, I enjoyed a pasta, salad, and butter bread home cooked meal made by abby's mom Norma. yummyyyy.
4. I love sleeping to thunderstorms and all 3 nights I was in Kansas City, right at the time I was falling asleep, a thunderstorm would hit and i'd get to fall asleep to loud rain on the roof. It was ironic because the first night there, I was having anxiety about my interview so i turned on this Thunderstorm Sounds App on my iphone to try and fall asleep to the sound of a storm and then like an hour into that not working, a REAL thunderstorm hit and it was very peaceful. Like God being like "you don't need your phone katie, i'll provide that for you" :)
5. I got to go to Abby's church on Sunday which once again, rocked. i've been 3 times and by this 3rd time, i am convinced that her pastor is the best pastor i've ever heard. his messages are soooo clear and educational and like i can't really explain how great he explains things!!! i take like a full page of notes on his sermons everytime i've heard him. I'll definitely be going to that church when i live in KC this summer!:)
6. I felt really blessed that weekend just to have a friend like Abby who has this amazing family that opens their home to me and makes me feel very comfortable. I always look forward to visiting Abby because not only do I get to hang with one of my best friends for a whole weekend, but i get that "home" experience that i so rarely get in college. Their family really provides me with that escape from young college people and lets me enjoy family home life for a weekend!

Thanks for that weekend Abby! love you!

Aqua&Anna&Abby&Ambition

Wowza I have what feels like a lot to write about! Another great shower producing more great thoughts. One of those thoughts was...Man I really need someone to invent waterproof paper and pen because I'm sick of making up lists in my head of all my thoughts to try and remember once I get out!! So I tweeted about how someone needs to invent this and a guy from my work tweeted back "Done. http://www.myaquanotes.com/" yep! IT'S A WATERPROOF PAD OF PAPER AND PENCIL! HALLELUHIA! seriously, I don't think Zach understands what this means for me. It means I will probably blog a lot more often because I will be able to remember all of my thoughts to blog about!!! and just so much more! What a great tool to have as a copywriter! Someone who is trying to think of good ideas constantly when the best ones come in the shower. Also, it was cool to know that like soo many other people think their best thoughts in the shower and that i'm not a complete freak.

So anyway, I'm ordering a pad this week :)

Next topic: I love my friends.

ANNA

One friend I really want to write about is my best friend from Summer Staff, Anna Egeln. You may know her as the girl from this video: Anywho, I got to chat with her on the phone tonight and man, I was just reminded once again how blessed I am to have found SUCH an amazing friend at Summer Staff. Like if there was no reason for me to have done Summer Staff but to meet Anna so we could be lifelong friends, I'd believe it. I love how we are so alike and really support each other and are both very unique people. (She likes to be ghetto and I was on a hip hop team in high school...for example. lol) Although I hate that we are states apart (and we are hoping to change that one day!! yay!)...I love that she is the #1 friend I can tell ANYTHING to, not only because she is a great friend, but because she is like my secret journal friend...the friend you can go to because you know nobody you know will ever find out anything you tell her. I have been so blessed to be able to visit her 2 times and have her family take me in for a week at a time! I got to experience literally the most fun I've ever had with a friend ever this past visit when making our dance video.
The reason I am writing about her is because nobody I know from home or school, knows her! and she is one of my best friends! And the bigger picture is I can't get over how awesome it is that we were both at Southwind in the summer of 2008, had this INSTANT friendship--like ridiculously instant. and now it's been almost 3 years later and we are still best friends. Just such an awesome showing of how people really come into your life for a reason and even if they are states away, people that are meant to stay in your life will. Love you Boo!!! :)

ABBY

Okay on the same topic of friends, I would also like to mention how awesome my friend Abby Thomason is (a faithful reader of my blog) because 2 weeks later I am still remembering how lucky I am to have a friend who will rescue me in a an instant. Basically I went to Kansas City two weeks ago and Abby and I got lunch before my meeting with this Ad agency called Bernstein-Rein. Abby helped me find Bernstein-Rein after lunch by having me follow her in my car. It was blizzard part 2 the night before in KC and so the roads were ridiculously slippery. As I was following Abby, my car got stuck going UP a hill. Abby had made it up the hill though. So I called her and was like "I'm stuuuck :( " and she's like "I can push you out! Be right there!" and just stopped her car, ran back to my car, and pushed my car free (uphill is kind of hard to push a car out! i couldn't believe she was able to do it). OKAY the point of the story is I know a lot of people that would be like "UGHH are you serious....try stepping on the gas harder..." But Abby like jolted out of her car and ran a ways down to my car to help me no questions asked. and THEN proceeded to run down the street to see if she could find Bernstein Rein by foot. WHAT A FRIEND!!!!!!! Girl, just wanted to let you know I'm still appreciating that and if my "thank you!" wasn't enough that day, I hope you understand now how much it meant to me. :) Love you!

Okay and lastly, I could write a lot about this but I won't because now this is a really long post. Basically one of my shower revelations tonight was that people know me for being picky about food, but when I think about it, I am picky about most things in life. I think I am this way because my philosophy is kind of "why settle for something you don't truly love?"
Examples in my life: searching for...jobs, boys, housing, churches, food.

Goodnight!! xoxo Katie

Showers.

I can't explain my showers. They are filled with revelations. Like God is writing His novel in my head. My thoughts are crystal clear and everything makes sense. The second I get out I run to a pad of paper and jot at the speed of light to keep up with all of the thoughts tumbling out of my brain. It's like God knows this shower is the only time he has me and my thoughts alone and takes full advantage of it by cramming everything he's wanted to tell me for years into a 20 minute time span. Clearly, I need to spend more alone time with Him. No technology, no people. Just lay and listen. Laying peacefully with worship music playing is one of my favorite things to do yet I somehow never separate myself from this damn world I love so much to take a second and LISTEN.

A couple of my shower revelations last night:

--We don't always realize the things that we need to heal from. Things that may seem insignificant in our lives could have actually had a huge impact on why we are the way we are. Maybe we absorbed and believed someone's comment about us in 8th grade and we are still healing from it to this day.

--The second you believe you deserve good things is the second they become possible.

xoxo
Katie

a ramble that turns into something worthy of reading

I am very very antsy right now. I am trying to study for my test tomorrow in the fun and exciting Integrated Marketing Communications but I can't because all I can think about is: I'M GETTING AN iPHONE IN 2 DAYS! I normally would be able to get it tomorrow, but they don't open until 10 and I am busy all day from 11am-930pm and I have things I need to do before work at 11 so I can't go the store at 10. ANYWAY, I think i'm also stirred up from watching the Oscars and having it be interrupted by a TORNADO WARNING even though it is about 30 minutes away from where I am...still really scary because there have been some SUPER SCARY winds howling tonight and some loud thunder. And my mind has always been the type to put myself in the position of the natural disaster and stress out FOR the people actually going through it.

Anyway, I can't wait to get an iPhone, but lately..like in the last 24 hours, i've had huge reminders that America is sooo rich and we are sooo beyond privileged and we take everything for granted. And also about how you can't serve money and God. Because i'm like spending all my money and freaking out that I have no money...and now i'm like what the heck, I have way more than I need...like this whole iPhone thing is just a want not a need. Basically, while being reminded of this, it just makes me want to give more of my money to people who need it. And I completely believe that all money is God's money and if you invest it in others, that he will bless you in return. Like today in church they showed a testimonial video of this guy from our church who told his financial story about how God provides for you if you are using your money how He wants you to.

Basically the guy's story was this:
He has 6 kids and works in construction. in 2008, the construction business went down the toilet so this led to this man not knowing how he was going to pay his bills the next month. Then he was at one of our church's meetings about how the church isn't receiving enough money from the members and how each church member would need to give $125 per family member to get rid of the church's debt. The man said that he did the math and that meant his family should give around $1,000. He said even though he didn't know how he was going to pay his bills the next month, he felt the Holy Spirit tell him he needed to give that amount. So he did. He said he prayed "God, I fully expect 100% return on that investment, not 30% but 100%." He said he expected to see the money come back to him in about 4 months. But it took 7 months until one day he was at home watching t.v. and his son came in with a red envelope and said, "Dad, what's this? It was stuck to our door." The man didn't know what it was or where it came from. He opened it up and it was 5 $100 gift cards to Walmart and Hyvee. Over the next few months they kept getting gift cards in the mail randomly. Also, he noted that during the 7 months of waiting, they never missed a bill payment of any kind.
SOOO COOL :) I LOVE stories like these!!!!!

I love how God pushes you to trust him. To step outside of your comfort zone and trust that he will provide for you. Whatever you need. a HUGE example of this in my life is my housing situation for next year. OH MAN. I told myself I would not stress over it...that I would give it to God and pray for His will to be done. I prayed and prayed that he would provide me with Christian roommates and that everything would work out with 504. After like 4 months of waiting...I am suddenly living in my dream "college house" with 3 awesome Christian girls who all want the same thing as me? God really provides. in whatever way you need him to.

And if he's not providing something for you, it is probably because you think it is what you want, but he knows what you NEED. His plan is ALWAYS better than our own. It's easy to get caught up in praying for what YOU want, but pray for what HE wants to be done with your life....I am currently dealing with this as I pray for my summer plans...I'll be sure to let you know how those turn out! :)

Katie

Careers suck.

Man I need to stop putting so much pressure on myself. I have never been confused or unsure of my career path until now. I have been working sooooo sooooo soooo hard on internship applications and perfecting my portfolio and resume but yet everything keeps failing. Big time.

1. I was supposed to shadow my favorite ad agency in Kansas City tomorrow, but turns out her email said last Thursday, not tomorrow, so I got the day wrong and screwed that opportunity. It's like I was so excited and so ahead of the game...then that happened and now not only did I miss out on an awesome experience, but I've made a horrible impression on the company I loved the most. If I never would have tried so hard to get their attention, I wouldn't have made this awful impression.

2. I worked really hard on my portfolio...to format it into a single file PDF, and I submitted it tonight to this agency called Barkley. Of course after I submitted it, I realized a border was missing from one of the ads so I fixed it and sent ANOTHER email to them so I've already made a horrible impression before they even open the PDF. Oh it gets better. When they do finally open it, they'll see one of my description writings cuts off about the last 8 words. Hopefully they won't read until the end?

I am soooo frustrated! I worked so hard on like an ESSAY for this application and a freaking border and format of a paragraph are going to screw me. I wanted all my applications to be perfect because they are so competitive, but my best doesn't seem to be enough.

Then I'm like, okay, I don't read any advertising magazines...I don't read articles about the industry...I just don't seem to care about the industry very much. I like writing ads and coming up with concepts, but honestly, the Hallmark internship where I would get to write honest, meaningful, writing could potentially be more my style.

I guess lately, I've had the realization that I don't necessarily have to be a copywriter if I find out it's not right for me. I should take my own advice from my Destiny blog post and recognize that I am not set for any destiny. Even though I've wanted to be a copywriter since I was in 5th grade (weird, I know) that doesn't mean I am "destined" to be one. AND even if I don't get a paid internship this summer, I still have my unpaid Thumper internship here in Columbia and could sublease at the Palace for the summer. I do have other options, but I just feel like I've put so much time into applying for internships that I want one soo bad. Seriously, it takes so much effort because I feel drained and I've only applied to 4!!!!!!!! FOUR! THAT'S IT! :(
If I don't get one, it's not the end of the world. Plenty of people don't have an internship the summer of their junior year and STILL GET JOBS! and what am I even saying, I already DO have a copywriting internship!

Man I'm just really stressed and disappointed and discouraged right now. I get to go to Kansas City tomorrow for the Ben Rector concert and eat Thai food!! all in one day! eeek! and the next day, I have a meeting at Bernstein-Rein, an agency in Kansas City to tour the agency and hopefully impress them with my new and improved portfolio! (I met the lady I'm meeting with at the career fair.)

Okay if you're still reading this, you're a true friend.
Katie

i'm going on a writing spree. the more you write the better you get. and i'm talkin pen to paper. i'm craving that pen to paper. i'm going to force myself to write until i can't write any longer. about anything and everything. goodbye facebook. hello journal. i will probably still update my blog because what do i do on here? write.

get the picture? awesome. see ya.

Thought of the night.

Life is a cross-nation road trip. You in your car. Driving forever. You see road, road, and more road. Dull silence is your company. Add God to the picture and suddenly there is music, beautiful scenery and 4 star hotels along the journey.

This is what I know.

12 Things I Wish I'd Known About Love When I Was 21...

HI FRIENDS! :) So my sister gave me this article that she LOVES and now I love it too!!! when you read it, you're like "YES! YES THAT'S ME! OH MY GOD I DO THAT TOO!" So instead of photo copying it and snail mailing it out to all my bffs, I am going to retype the whole thing for you on here! really, you won't regret reading these!! :) Love you!

Article from Glamour Mag, by: Erin Meanly

NUMBER 1: Never underestimate the importance of being "interesting".
Men want someone interesting. They really do. So find some hobbies. In my mid-twenties, I made a guy my hobby. When he dumped me, partly because he felt smothered, I had to get a life. I hired a personal trainer, volunteered with kids, took Italian lessons and flew to Rome for vacay. It takes effort to get interested in yourself again. Make that effort. You'll start to remember how good it feels. And you'll impress. Now when I'm on a date and I read the menu in an Italian accent, or I smile while I talk about my ballet class, guys really eat it up.

NUMBER 2: There's a fine line between teasing a guy and criticizing him.
I used to fall into this bad habit of extreme flirting by teasing. One time I told an older guy who'd had a skiing accident that he was "damaged goods," and I would need to trade him in for a "younger model." He looked at me like I'd just kicked his puppy. I felt so bad that later, when he showed up wearing a totally heinous puka shell necklace, I refrained from any comment. Now that guy is long gone, but I am decidedly nicer to his successors.

NUMBER 3: Your wants and needs are just as important as his.
And if you don't express them because you think doing so will scare him away, then you're saying you don't count as much as he does.

NUMBER 4: Knowing how to cook: helpful.
I see now that it would have won me a lot of points. When I was 21, I said to my sorority sister, "I bought a box of Rice-a-Roni. How do I boil water?" She told me, "Make it bubble." And for years, that was all I knew how to do. If I'd had any idea then how much guys savor a woman who cooks--even if they're great cooks themselves--I would've asked for further instructions. Admittedly it sounds a little June Cleaver, but really nothing has changed about the male appetite, except it's gotten bigger.

NUMBER 5: Sometimes guys flirt with you because it makes them feel good about THEMSELVES.
(Hey, we do it too.) This is also the aha explanation for why he asked for your number and didn't call. The schmuck.

NUMBER 6: You will probably never fully understand men. So just try to understand yourself.

NUMBER 7: It's shocking how much men will talk about marriage.
But until there's a ring on your finger, it will generally be better for you if you pretend you're deaf. I've listened to hypothetical wedding plans from several men I've become involved with--sometimes on the first date! Yet, shockingly, I've never been married. Why do guys tease so? Simple: Even honest men like to tell you what they think you want to hear. But the more marriage talk there is and the more you imagine your future walk down the aisle with him, the harder it is to have good, clear perspective on the PRESENT state of your relationship--and to break up if he's not right for you. So don't indulge; it's not worth it.

NUMBER 8: Don't be cynical.
I try not to roll my eyes at PDA, and I never attend Anti-Valentine's Day parties. Bitterness is unattractive.

NUMBER 9: Things change once you're naked.
This one truly would have changed my life if I'd known it back when I started having sex: Sleeping with him doesn't give you power. It's NOT sleeping with him that does. Power to decide how quickly things happen; power to make him want you desperately; power to keep your clothes on if you so choose. And feeling powerful makes you SEXY.

NUMBER 10: Being worshipped isn't all that.
You'll go nuts if he's absolutely devoted to you. So let him have a boys' night or throw himself into his work. A happy man will still be able to balance "crazy busy" and crazy about you. One of my favorite grown-up quotes? From Simone de Beauvoir's "The Second Sex": "The knight departing for new adventures offends his lady, yet she has nothing but contempt for him if he remains at her feet."

NUMBER 11: We see what we want to see (and ignore the bad signs).
A guy will say, "Next time you play a gig, invite me!" And you think, Isn't that sweet? He likes me and supports my art and will probably marry me! But I have news: He would say the same thing to your GRANDMA if she were in a band. It's even possible to convince yourself that a guy who is acting distant or shady is doing so because he's overwhelmed by his love for you. But he isn't; he's acting distant and shady because he IS distant and shady! Wish I'd known that.

NUMBER 12: Don't compare yourself with your friends.
Some of them will settle down before you. Mine have been getting married steadily for the last decade. At some point I started to feel different, and that was a new and uncomfortable feeling for me. Rather than get anxious about it, I've tried to remind myself that it's not a race. Even when you've always been first in grades and jobs, you could be last in marrying. It's hard, but it doesn't mean anything about who you are as a person! Just that you're smart enough to wait for Mr. Eventually.

destiny...

The idea of destiny has been on my mind over break a bit. Like what is it really? I don't really think it exists. Why do we automatically assume we will turn out like our parents? Why do we assume we can only go as far as others expectations of us? Bottom line: who says we have to turn out like our parents or settle for something in life because others expect us to. We do not have a defined path of destiny, but (as cheesy as it sounds...) we choose our own destiny! Just an example, if a person has poor parents, they naturally have the mindset that they probably will turn out like their parents and therefore do not set high goals or try very hard in life because it is acceptable to the person's loved ones to turn out poor. (because poor parents can't judge their poor child right?). Or with guys for instance, if you're told a million times that you're worthless by guys--maybe by being cheated on or always being the one broken up with...you start to believe it is your destiny to end up alone. Or that you're not good enough. Well, the point is is that we choose our own destiny. We set our goals, limits, boundaries. Don't let other people restrain you from believing you can be amazing. It may not be intentional either that these people are putting limits on you and setting you up for a mediocre destiny. Every person has the power to change themselves for the better if they truly want to. Don't let yourself be confined to the expectations of others. Set up your path in life based on what makes you happy and believe that you deserve every ounce of that happiness. Find your self worth IN yourself and BY yourself! :)

Katie

My break!

It seems as though most of my blogging friends made a post about the new year. I really can't seem to bring myself to write one. I feel like I just plain don't have any thoughts on it. Completely apathetic towards this "new" year. yes it's new but it is still just my life continuing on and there are no big changes. I suppose that is the point and I'm all of a sudden supposed to make big changes? No thanks, that's a lot of pressure. Just because the calender says Jan 1st, it doesn't make me want to do anything different. I'll want to do something different with my life when I am unsatisfied with my life and that could be next week, next month, who knows. It makes me brain hurt to try and remember everything I did in 2010.I figure anything awesome I did will come up in a memory this year.

So this break I went to Florida and Hawaii--i know i know i'm so spoiled blahh. Both trips were amazing! Visiting my friend from summer staff, Anna, in Florida was fun fun and more fun and we made this dance video for YouTube that we would like for it to go viral :) and maybe be on Ellen Degeneres if possible. Also went to Magic Kingdom at Disney World and got my sh** rocked on Space Mountain. best. ride. evaaa! Hawaii was a family vacation where we stayed with my Grandma's cousin, Auntie Gina, for 10 days and explored Maui. We did everything. Surf lessons, volcano 10,000 ft in the air, whale watching, road to Hana, Lavender farm (it was closed thank god), snorkeling and did it all in the comfort of Auntie Gina's amazing condo with king size beds, a pool and hot tub! I am truly blessed to have traveled as much as I have in my life (with my family) and this break has been un. real. I can't even stand the fact of starting school again. I don't remember how to live in my apartment or read or work. oh yeah! while I was in Florida I got a call from this woman I had interviewed with (i thought it went badly) but I got a Spring internship with Thumper Entertainment. They do the marketing for Roots N Blues festival and other live music things. I am their Copywriter intern. It's not at all what I want to do with my career (i want to work at an advertising agency and do more actual ADS like slogans and ad copy...i have a feeling this will be more journalistic writing....which i hate but hey an internship is an internship!) hopefully it will help me get an awesome internship this summer! which by the way ahh i have to start applying for...I'm going to apply to different ad agencies (and Hallmark! :) ) in Kansas City and Minneapolis. Welp, my cousin Rima just skyped me. and its 3am and im driving back to mizzou at 9am. SHOOT! BYE!